two years ago....

Two years ago today our house was a little emptier. We had just lost our first foster placement - a sibling set. Our baby boy was just six weeks old when he came to us. A few short weeks later, his two year old sister joined our home. I thought I knew what I was doing. I had been a parent before - 3 times before actually. I really thought I knew what I was doing. 

Those first few weeks were overwhelming. Everything normal went out the window as we opened our home not only to these little ones, but also to social workers, their birth parents, and a whole host of medical appointments. I was not prepared for how emotionally drained I would feel - all day. I was not prepared to feel so "mama bear" about our little guy's doctor's visit that went so wrong. I was not prepared to feel so much love for their parents. I was not prepared to find myself praying for their reunification - when our hope was initially adopting. I was not prepared. 

And then, just seven short (I can say "short" now, but at the time the weeks felt very "long") weeks later, I packed up their stuff and they left. I wrote a little note to each of them and prayed over the boxes of stuff as I prepared to drive them to their new home. And I was happy and relieved and sad all at the same time. I was happy for them because they were going to a relative's. I was relieved because our house was quiet again. I was sad because I wish I had done it better. I wish I hadn't felt so weary and overwhelmed. I wish I had loved them harder. I was happy because we were able to walk through the reunification process with their parents and see a broken family restored. 

Two years ago today we took a trip - just us - to regroup and prepare for the next little one the Lord would bring to our home. Little did we know then that we would wait only 19 days before we would get to meet our next placement. We didn't know on February 5, 2011 that our son was being loved by an amazing foster family until he came to us. Our house was quiet, and we enjoyed it - but we were so ready to meet our son! 

And now we find ourselves a little too comfortable again. Levi has been with us for nearly 2 years now, He is a typical two year old boy. He's busy and loud and crazy. He's also funny and smart and a total love bug! We are all still totally smitten. And while I haven't forgotten the potential craziness that opening your heart and home to a foster child can bring, I want it. I want our home full of loud, busy, sweet, and broken babes who need to be loved fiercely by Jesus through me. 

Last night we went to the adoption support group hosted by our foster agency. I love being there with other foster/adoptive families who understand - sometimes without a word. I love that friends can say, "we're going on the open bed list" and the rest of the group cheers, knowing that another little one will be safe and loved. I love that another mama can share her real feelings of doubt and inadequacy and we all understand cause we've all been there too. I love this crazy world we're in. So, today I say, "bring on the craziness, Lord." Our house wasn't meant to be quiet. Our lives weren't meant to be comfortable. A few weeks ago our pastor said this from the pulpit (it continues to cross my mind and still strikes my heart today), "Tiredness and inconvenience are not longer excuses not to serve. When we demand that our lives and our service are "comfortable" and on our timeline, we miss the miracles of God." 

I don't want to miss His miracles. 

Bring on the craziness, Lord! 

October 21st....lots to celebrate

Exactly two years ago today, a little boy was born. 
He weighed 6lbs 14oz. 

Little did we know on that day, that our son's life here on earth, had begun. 

I wish I had pictures of that day. I wish I had pictures of his first few months of life..
I don't. 
But I do have a few from his foster mom.

Exactly one year ago today, a little boy became part of our family - forever.
On his first birthday, Levi officially became a  DeCarlo!

On our way to the courthouse - Adoption Day! 

Celebrating Levi's First Birthday. 

Little did we know how much he would change our lives! 

It was an emotional time as we stood before the judge and he declared Levi as our son - with all the rights of inheritance as a natural born child. The spiritual significance was not lost on us, or anyone else in the room. We, who have trusted in Jesus as Savior, become co-heirs with Christ. Adopted into the family of God - with all the rights of sons and daughters. 

Today, we stood before our church family and dedicated our son to the Lord. 
He is a gift from God and we desire to raise him to know and serve Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior! 

Three years in a row, October 21st has been a significant milestone in our lives, and in the life of one very special little boy.  

It sounds trite - it sounds like the thing everybody says, but truly....we can't imagine our lives with out Levi. He has brought laughs, and life, and a craziness we didn't know we were missing. 

His laugh is contagious.
He has the best sense of humor.
He is smart and sneaky.
He says, "I love you, mommy." (at the best and most random times)
He sings, and sings - his favorite song right now is "God's not Dead." 
He's crazy in love with his sisters and big brother.
He loves anything sports related, motorcycles, and school buses.
(Yep, he's all boy!)

We love this little man more than words can express!

Happy Birthday, big guy. 
Happy One Year Forever Family Day, buddy!

May you always know the love of our Heavenly Father and walk with Him all the days of your life.

17 years!

It hardly seems possible -
Dominic and I celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary on Saturday.
17 years....

                                    

We were young, and naive. He had only been saved a few months. I had unrealistic expectations of marriage. We moved 800 miles away from everyone I knew. In the world's eyes, everything was against us.

But, God!

He has a way of carrying us when we are weak. Guiding us when we are lost. Holding us together when all is falling apart. And that is exactly what He has done and continues to do.

All glory to Him!

We were able to get away for 2 whole days. Two days, just us and the beautiful southern California weather. A much needed break from the "real" world.
A much needed time to just be together.
Alone. Uninterrupted. Un-rushed.

So good!

Dominic's mom and sister came to stay with the kids. Such a special time for them to stay up late, eat junk food, and hang out with family! I am so blessed they were here - we didn't even call to check on the kids. We knew they were just fine! Well-loved and spoiled! Just the way it should be.

When I think about where the Lord has taken us, where we've been and what we've been through - I am amazed. And, oh so blessed that He still uses us and has a plan for us. Its good. So, so good.

Happy Anniversary, hubby. I love you more today than 17 years ago!

To God be the gory, great things He has done!

it's been way too long

I am not even going to try to catch up from where I left off. It's been way too long. I will however share where we are now and what's happening with our family. 

I was reminded again yesterday just how faithful our God is  - and I can't stop rejoicing!

You see, we hosted an orphan from Taiwan over the summer. She was 7. She spoke no English and we speak no Mandarin. She walked into our hearts that Saturday at LAX and we haven't stopped thinking about her since. 

We did not have international adoption on our radar - not for our family. If we were going to adopt again, it would be through foster care, not internationally. So, when friends and family (and my social worker) all questioned "why" do they bring orphans to the US? 
Why are you hosting her? 
Are you going to adopt her? 
How will you send her back? 
And a whole host of other questions, I started doubting the wisdom in signing up to be a host family. 
Was it good for her? 
Was it a trick to get us to fall in love and adopt her? 
Why are we doing this? 
We did it because there was a need, and we wanted to meet that need. We did it because a precious little girl needed a place to stay for two weeks - and I figured we can do anything for two weeks, right? We did it because we wanted to be used to share the love and truth of Jesus with a little girl who needed to hear that she was loved - by Him and by us! 

I have to say, it was an amazing experience. I had the joy of watching my children love without words. It was precious to hear them laugh and play and "talk". Each of my children amazed me with their love and servant's hearts for our special visitor, Shih-wun.

Shih-wun was brave and funny and kind and loud. She was gentle with our guinea pigs. She shared her french fries and candy and oreos with my kids. She blew bubbles for Levi. She learned how to sing Jesus Loves Me in English. And she sang it over and over and over again. My heart swelled as I listened to all the kids singing with her in the van - first in Mandarin and then in English and then in Mandarin and then in English - over and over. 

As quickly as her arrival came, it was time to pack up and take her back to the airport. And then the reality sank in - for all of us. When she woke up the next morning, she would be back in the orphanage. All the questions came racing back - how can we send her back? 

We were asked by the agency if we were interested in pursuing adoption? Um....yes? no? We had no real clear answer from the Lord. So we prayed. 

Over the last months we have talked about and prayed for Shih-wun.We have asked ourselves and the Lord if we are supposed to adopt her. 
Silence. 
Nothing. 
We have waited for Him to tell us to "go". 

And then....
I received an email from a lady named Donna. It said " We are very excited to tell you that God has chosen to bless our family with precious Shih-wun." 

SHIH-WUN HAS A FOREVER FAMILY! 

I am in awe of how the Lord has so beautifully orchestrated the details of her unfolding story. Donna and I were able to talk yesterday about how the Lord lead them to their daughter - miracle after miracle, I tell you. I am rejoicing - so full of praise - as I think about Shih-wun being a treasured daughter for this family whose heart is for the orphan. Their older daughter was adopted from Haiti and their son is from Guatemala. Donna said, "our family is truly a rainbow, a beautiful picture of what heaven will be like!" 

The Lord is writing her story. One page at a time. We are a small, two week chapter in her life. How thankful I am to have had the chance to tell a precious child that Jesus loves her. What a blessing to see her heart gladly accept the truths of the Bible - with true child-like faith. Truly, we received far more than we gave. 

And now, we get to be part of her journey home. My heart rejoices that this once-upon-a-time-orphan will know the love of a family and even more, the love of a Savior. He is so good and so faithful!!! 

To God be the glory, great things He has done! 

where to start?

Oh my...time has sure been flying by. Things around our house have been busy, busy, busy. I am not even sure where to start. This is going to be one of those random posts - bear with me.

Let's see...um....

We enjoyed some time outside, hiking together. We always enjoy times like this so much.

We really need to do this more often! 

We celebrated the resurrection of our Lord!

(My beautiful kiddos - Easter Sunday!)

and then this...

I guess we shouldn't be surprised with 3 sisters in the house!  

(He keeps us smiling!) 

We delivered the first of many Journey Bags to the Department of Human Services. After my presentation speech, the social workers all clapped and thanked me. Truth is, without the generosity of so many believers this would not have happened. I have the honor of delivering the bags, but so many others have their reward in heaven - the many, many people who stuffed bags full of beautiful clothes, blankets, and thoughtful things. It was a humbling and exciting day! 

In the mist of all the other craziness we broke ground on the addition to the back of the house. (we are adding nearly 500 square feet) In an attempt to save money we are doing as much of the grunt work ourselves as is possible. Today we decided saving money is not all its cracked up to be....but, we pressed on and pushed through and got our part done. Now the rest is up to the professionals. 

After taking down our pergola - 

Dominic broke out our existing patio. He started with a sledge hammer and crowbar....

but quickly realized he needed a jack hammer. It was a lot of work - a lot! 

I love this picture. 

The three of them spent most of the day watching Daddy. 

  The forms are up. The concrete is being poured on Monday! 

You know you have great friends when they are willing to spend the day in the blazing sun demolishing the outside of your house! And tearing out your overgrown bush and shoveling 9000 pounds of dirt. Thanks Brent and Julie and kids! You're the best! 

I was blessed to be able to attend The Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit at Saddleback Church last week. But, that is a post for another day. Suffice it to say, I am still processing all that I learned and heard. What an amazing two days chock full of encouragement and support. To top it all off I got to meet Jami, the founder of The Forgotten Initiative, in person. It was truly the cherry on top! 

In all the busyness, Jesus is revealing Himself to me. He is ministering to my heart in the deepest places - I would not trade these days for anything. He is moving, friends. :) 

To God be the glory, great things He has done! 

amazed

Today, I stand amazed at all that the Lord is doing.

   

                  (Just a few of the Journey Bags and  packs of diapers that will be delivered next week!)

My entryway is overflowing with Journey Bags packed for little ones in foster care.
(not a bad problem to have!) 


Bags stuffed with "things", but more importantly filled with prayers and love. Just one way for the body of Christ to be His hands and feet - such a tangible and  meaningful way to show His love to those who feel forgotten. I trust the Lord will bless the lives of everyone who has given of their time, their money, and their heart to care for the least of these.  


On Sunday morning our pastor was sharing about the opportunity to pack a Journey Bag with our church. He spoke of the well-known verse in James. "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of the Father is this, to visit widows and orphans in their distress and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." He shared of the word used in African bibles meaning widows and orphans. I wish I could remember the actual word - but, I can't. But I do remember the meaning - "those without a covering" - and certainly foster children can be described as "those without a covering". The fatherless, the least of these, the orphan. And we are commanded to care for them - to cover them. With our prayers, with our love, with our time, with our things...
They truly are in distress. They truly need us to visit them. Literally and figuratively. May each bag be a visit from the very heart and hand of Jesus to these little ones and those who care for them. 

To date 150 bags are being filled. 

O.N.E. H.U.N.D.R.E.D. F.I.F.T.Y.!!!! 

I am beyond excited to deliver these to the Department of Human Services! I am anxious to bless the social workers who get to hand these bags to families and children. I am thrilled to think that in the moment of their distress, 150 little ones will be visited by the hope and love of Jesus!


To God be the glory, great things He is doing!




One a side note - the interview with Air1 and KLOVE for TFI has been scheduled for next Thursday the 26th at 10:00 am! I will have 25 minutes to share the heart and vision of TFI. Please pray for me - that the Lord would fill my mouth with His message! This is truly an amazing opportunity. 

faithful God

It has been a busy couple of weeks. 

Emails, meetings, running the girls around, etc...

I feel like I am treading water and sometimes I let it get to me. 

I get overwhelmed, frustrated, discouraged. 

But God. 

Don't you love how He is always right on time? 

He is always faithful - even when I am faithless. 

Faithful God. 

I was just lamenting to a friend yesterday about how I felt the need to do more to get 

The Forgotten Initiative "out there." 

I was feeling discouraged 

by the lack of support I sense from pastors I have talked to. 

I want to see the "likes" on our facebook page growing in number everyday, 

but its not happening as fast as I think it should. 

Struggling between knowing that the Lord is more than able 

to inspire His people 

and the responsibility that lies one me 

to be proactively putting myself and the TFI message out there. 

Then the Lord lovingly reminded me that He is in control.

Last night at our adoption support group, 

I was handed a bag full of baby boy goodies to fill a Journey Bag. 

Then I got home to an email saying that 24 more bags are being filled, 

a Girl Scout group is going to pack Journey Bags as a service project, 

and a lady who works for Bright House is hosting a drive at work 

for items off our shopping list!

He's got it!

I don't need to fret. 

It doesn't matter how many "likes" we have (or don't have) on Facebook.

His heart is for the fatherless and He is blessing this ministry. 

So, 12 bags from a dear friend and her co-workers

24 bags from a ladies bible study 

56 bags from Rock Harbor Church

3 more from individuals wanting to take part...

and this is just the beginning!

I have the opportunity to share about TFI at another MOPS group on April 12th.

More bags will be handed out at our church on April 15th.

I have been invited to speak at a friend's church on Sunday April 29th.

And lots more opportunities to speak to MOPS groups, 

women's bible study groups, and small groups have been offered, 

just need to set the dates. 

I may not be able to see it all, 

but God is moving and working behind the scenes

to see the forgotten in Bakersfield ministered to by His love.

Thank you, Lord for reminding me of your faithfulness. 

Even when I am faithless, You remain faithful. 

To God be the glory, great things He is doing!!