You see, Nic hasn't been around for the last year since Levi joined our family. He hasn't had multiple opportunities to hear people's comments or respond to their questions. He is only here a short while - and while he is totally in love with his little brother - he isn't quite sure what to make of the unfiltered questions, comments, and stares we get when we are out together.
When Levi first came home, I was keenly aware of the "looks" our family got everywhere we went. At first I was self-conscience about it and dreaded the idea of anyone asking questions. It didn't take long before I didn't even notice anymore. Oh, I am sure people still looked and wondered and many asked, but I didn't care. He was our son and I would gladly accept the "is he your's" questions, because by golly, Yes, he is our's!
Fast forward a few months...and I am left wondering how to answer these questions. Not for my sake, but for his. He is still young enough not to understand, but those days are passing quickly and soon, very soon, he will not only hear, but understand what is being asked/implied. How do I respond? I never want Levi to feel like being adopted is something to hide or be ashamed of. Yet, does every curious stranger need to know his personal story. Where does his privacy fit in with answering the questions of a stranger? I have been wrestling with this for a while now. I asked it at our last adoption support group. It will be the topic for next month's meeting - hopefully with some good answers/advice from the social workers and other families. Then just last week, I read the very same questions from another adoptive mom on her blog. What a comfort to know that I am not alone - yet, there is still the very real issue of facing these situations on a regular basis.
Then I was reminded of a quote I read on an adoption blog,
Our family has the privilege of telling the story
of God's redemption and grace
every time someone questions our family dynamics."
The questions and their implications don't have to be about me, or even about Levi - the answers can always be about God. It is a privilege to share what the Lord has done for us and Levi. I pray that whatever the question, whatever the awkward comment, whatever the motive I would be able to point people to Jesus. I hope that the uniqueness of our family would give us many opportunities to share the gospel and be a light for Him.
Like the time the young African American man at Target asked me about Levi. When I told him that we had adopted Levi, he said to me (very sincerely and humbly), "So you love him and stuff? Like, you hold him and carry him around and stuff?" It saddened me to think this young man would have to wonder about an adoptive mom's love for her son. I don't know what his experiences were/are. I don't know why that was the question he most wanted answered, but I pray that my response caused him to think differently about foster/adoptive families and more importantly that he heard of Jesus' love that day. Our encounter was brief, but I pray that it made a lasting impact on his heart.
We will most certainly always get funny looks, prying questions, and well-meaning strangers who are trying to understand our family situation. I want what we say and how we respond to be the example for Levi as he grows. We are not embarrassed or ashamed of his story. It is a story that points to the Lord's grace and protection - one of answered prayers and God's plan for a little boy and the family that loves him to pieces!
To God be the glory, great things He has done!
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