well, that was awkward...

That was Nic's comment after a stranger approached us at Walmart and began questioning our family dynamics. 


You see, Nic hasn't been around for the last year since Levi joined our family. He hasn't had multiple opportunities to hear people's comments or respond to their questions. He is only here a short while - and while he is totally in love with his little brother - he isn't quite sure what to make of the unfiltered questions, comments, and stares we get when we are out together. 


When Levi first came home, I was keenly aware of the "looks" our family got everywhere we went. At first I was self-conscience about it and dreaded the idea of anyone asking questions. It didn't take long before I didn't even notice anymore. Oh, I am sure people still looked and wondered and many asked, but I didn't care. He was our son and I would gladly accept the "is he your's" questions, because by golly, Yes, he is our's! 


Fast forward a few months...and I am left wondering how to answer these questions. Not for my sake, but for his. He is still young enough not to understand, but those days are passing quickly and soon, very soon, he will not only hear, but understand what is being asked/implied. How do I respond? I never want Levi to feel like being adopted is something to hide or be ashamed of. Yet, does every curious stranger need to know his personal story. Where does his privacy fit in with answering the questions of a stranger? I have been wrestling with this for a while now. I asked it at our last adoption support group. It will be the topic for next month's meeting - hopefully with some good answers/advice from the social workers and other families. Then just last week, I read the very same questions from another adoptive mom on her blog. What a comfort to know that I am not alone - yet, there is still the very real issue of facing these situations on a regular basis. 


Then I was reminded of a quote I read on an adoption blog, 

Our family has the privilege of telling the story

of God's redemption and grace

every time someone questions our family dynamics." 

The questions and their implications don't have to be about me, or even about Levi - the answers can always be about God. It is a privilege to share what the Lord has done for us and Levi. I pray that whatever the question, whatever the awkward comment, whatever the motive I would be able to point people to Jesus. I hope that the uniqueness of our family would give us many opportunities to share the gospel and be a light for Him. 

Like the time the young African American man at Target asked me about Levi. When I told him that we had adopted Levi, he said to me (very sincerely and humbly), "So you love him and stuff? Like, you hold him and carry him around and stuff?" It saddened me to think this young man would have to wonder about an adoptive mom's love for her son. I don't know what his experiences were/are. I don't know why that was the question he most wanted answered, but I pray that my response caused him to think differently about foster/adoptive families and more importantly that he heard of Jesus' love that day. Our encounter was brief, but I pray that it made a lasting impact on his heart. 

We will most certainly always get funny looks, prying questions, and well-meaning strangers who are trying to understand our family situation. I want what we say and how we respond to be the example for Levi as he grows. We are not embarrassed or ashamed of his story. It is a story that points to the Lord's grace and protection - one of answered prayers and God's plan for a little boy and the family that loves him to pieces! 

To God be the glory, great things He has done! 

one year ago

Today is a special anniversary for us in the DeCarlo family. One year ago today we first snuggled our little guy. One year ago today I sat in my van talking to a woman who will always have a special place in my heart. Lacy, Levi's foster mom and I chatted about Levi as I sat in the parking lot of the fairgrounds in Visalia. My girls were inside watching a horse show and I was huddled up in my car (it was a cold, gray day). I remember Lacy telling me, "there's just something about him." At the time I didn't really understand what she meant. He was, after all, only 4 months old and I couldn't quite figure out how different could he really be from other 4 months old? It didn't take long at all for us to see that Levi has been blessed with an endearing personality. Everybody who knows him, and plenty of strangers too, are drawn to him.  He's a flirt, and a ham and he loves laughing and making people laugh with him. There really is something about him! 


I had stared at Levi's picture - the one my social worker sent to me - for a week, waiting for approval from the county to have him placed in our home. You see, as soon as his foster parents knew he was being moved to adoptions, they wanted him to be with his forever family as soon as possible. They knew how special everyday is with little ones - and they wanted him to have every opportunity to bond with his family. I am so thankful for their hearts. They loved him while he was with them and handed him over to us knowing that was best for him! How selfless. Such a beautiful example of sacrificial love. 


Before Levi, the Whitbey family had loved a little girl for nearly a year. She was reunited with a family member. After Levi, they had another baby boy whom they loved and treasured for 6 months before handing him into the arms of his adoptive family. I love the Whitbeys for what they do for these little ones. They truly have the heart of Jesus. Fostering isn't easy. Loving a little one, knowing they won't be staying, must rip your heart out. And yet, this family continues to do the hard thing. Someone once told me, "It's never wrong to love a child." For a day, for a year, for life. Precious Whitbey family, the Lord is pleased with you - thank you for loving His little lambs. 


I does my heart good to remember how faithful the Lord has been to us and to Levi through this journey - rejoice with me as I remind myself of His goodness!  


~It was January 2010 when I began to feel the Lord prompting me again to foster/adopt.
~I prayed for 6 months that the Lord would add to our family through adoption 
~I prayed that this would not just be "my thing" but that Dominic and I would be united
~We were finally certified in October 2010
(Looking back now, it is so cool for me to see the Lord's perfect timing - all those months I prayed were the exact months that Levi was being carried in his birth-mom's womb. He was conceived in January and born in October. While I didn't carry him in my womb - I carried him in my heart and in my prayers for those 9 months. Isn't that just the way the Lord works? Preparing us as He prepared Levi to enter the world!) 


~My song while we waited was "Our God" by Chris Tomlin. Every time it came on the radio I prayed, I dreamed, and I prayed some more for our little one. Months later, at a Harvest Crusade I was blessed to hear Chris Tomlin perform it live while Levi clapped and danced in my arms. I was moved to tears as I held him, thinking about how perfectly the Lord had heard and answered all my prayers. The private ones, the fears, the doubts, the requests that he be protected from whatever he was being exposed to...And there he was, in my arms - every prayer answered beyond what I could ask or think! 


~Tomorrow will be one year that Levi has been home with us. His foster parents brought him over at 4:00 in the afternoon - it was a Friday. We videotaped the car pulling up, Levi being taken out of the van, and the three of them walking up to the front door. We have video tapes of the girls' births - this was for us, his birth video! Such a treasured memory. Once inside, he snuggled up with Lexie and fell asleep. The next few months feel like a blur of bottles, burp clothes, sleepless nights and the best dimpled smile from a little boy we all love like crazy! 


~October 21, 2010 - not only did we celebrate Levi's first birthday, we were doubly blessed to celebrate the finalization of his adoption. Just 8 short months after coming home, he was officially our son - forever. With all the rights of a natural born child. What a beautiful reminder of what has been done for us as children of God. That day in court, the judge repeatedly called Levi by his given name. I winced every time - didn't he know that we were changing his name? Should I speak up and say something? Over and over he referred to him by his "old" name. But then, at the very end, the judge said, "With my signature I declare that he is no longer (insert old name) but shall hence forth be known as Levi Joseph DeCarlo." And with that the courtroom erupted with cheers and claps! 


Thank you, Lord for the new life you have given Levi. Thank you Lord that You have done the same for all those who know Jesus as Savior. You have given us a new name, an inheritance with your son Jesus, and brought us into your family! 


Here are some pictures of Levi through the year! Our little man, how we love you. 

The Lord has done great things for us and we are full of joy!

Psalms 126:3

love my boy

Just want to say, 

LOVE THIS BOY! 

(That's his "silly face!" 

He does it on command - 

so of course 

Dominic and the girls are constantly telling him. 

"Do your silly face!")

He is just so much fun!

Air 1 Interview

Today is the day of my interview with Air1. I am not really sure what to expect. I hope I am not making too much of it - I mean, it could be a short 30 second commercial. I find it hard to believe that a radio station would give its time away to do a spot on a local foster agency, but then again, we serve a big God who works in big ways. I am convinced the timing is not an accident, not 3 months ago or 3 months from now, but right as I am launching The Forgotten Initiative in Bakersfield. So, if the timing is perfect, then I trust that length of the interview will be too! 


So, I have been thinking a lot about our journey these past few days. About our first little ones that were with us for 7 short weeks, and then getting the call for a little guy, just 4 months old. We had time to think and pray about taking placement of Levi - a whole week. In ways that made the decision harder. I agonize about most decision (not one of my better qualities). I tend to think and rethink and over think things til I am wound up in circles and I can't make heads or tails of anything anymore! A week after getting the call about Levi we went to meet him at his foster family's house. I prayed and prayed that the Lord would allow there to be a love connection between us. We visited, snuggled, and played with him for an hour or so. When we left, I said to Dominic, "Well?" All he said was, "He's cute!" We didn't talk about our decision at all the rest of the night. The next morning I texted Dominic (yep, that's how our life changing decision was "discussed") and asked him what to tell our social worker. He texted back "yes". And that was it. He came home that afternoon! The Lord certainly answered the "love connection" request and all my thinking and rethinking didn't matter anymore. He was our son from the moment he laid his little head on my chest and fell asleep that first night at his foster family's house.


The first few months with Levi were great - and hard. He barely slept. I mean, we celebrated if he slept longer than 30 minutes at a time. I was up with him all through the night. He was restless and resisted laying close and still in bed with me, yet he cried and fussed in his own bed. As night time approached I could feel myself getting anxious and my stomach would begin to churn just knowing how long the night was going to be again. During the day he was happy and content, but again....no sleep. "Naps" were 20 minutes at best. It took months and patience and lots of lovin', but today, he takes 2 good naps a day and sleeps through the night! Not that sleep is everything, but to me it is one way I know he is settled here, he is secure and he knows he is safe. 


So, as I think about this interview I wonder, how do I express the wonderful miracle of adoption in a sentence or two? How do I share all the Lord has done in our lives this last year and a half in a quick interview? I am known for my many words, so today I pray, "Lord, fill my mouth with Your words  - let Your heart be made known." 


Thanks for your prayers - I'll let you know how it goes! 


By His Grace and for His glory!

another piece of the puzzle

Well, friends its official. Or rather, I'm official! Business cards and The Forgotten Initiative brochures were delivered yesterday. Time to start advocating for the needs of the forgotten in Bakersfield. I am jazzed! So ready to be part of bringing the love of Jesus to the foster care community. 


It has been so exciting to watch the Lord perfectly place the pieces of the puzzle together. From the desire to be a voice for the fatherless, to making the video for our agency, to "happening" upon Jami's blog and learning about TFI  - it has all been His leading, His preparing, His timing. Now, one more exciting piece of the puzzle - I get to spread the word about The Forgotten Initiative on Air1! On Tuesday, I will head to our agency where I will get to share our foster/adoption story, our vision, and all about TFI. Certainly not a coincidence that our agency was approached by Air1 and offered this amazing opportunity! Just another piece of the puzzle. I love watching the Lord work and move. 


Please pray that the Lord's heart for the fatherless would be revealed as I talk with the interviewer. That the words I speak would not be mine, but His, and that many would hear and be moved to join the TFI team. Above all, please pray for those in the foster care system - that all would know the love of Jesus. 


I am filled with a sense of awe as I think about being used this way. Who could've known that 15 years ago, when we first started talking about adoption, we would end up here in this place at this time?! Even more unimaginable is the crazy love we have for this little boy we met just 11 short months ago! We started and stopped the process to be certified 4 times before actually going all the way. What was once a lingering desire has become the most blessed thing we have ever done! I am so glad we stepped out and obeyed the calling He had for our lives. We could have missed the joy of loving Levi. 


To God be the glory, great things He has done!

All Boy!

Yup, he is! All Boy! 

And we love it. 

We are so enjoying our baby boy! 

After 12 years of girls ruling the house,the new experience 

of having a little man around has been a blast. 

He loves to climb, throw balls (or anything else he gets his hands on), and oh the sound effects he can already make. :) He is enthralled with motorcycles and airplanes ~ searching frantically when he hears one. 

I knew that boys were different, 

just didn't expect it to be so fun raising one! 

Having fun being a boy!

What could be better?

Water, rocks, and a ball for good measure 

He was soaking wet, but didn't care a bit! 

Getting dirty is way too much fun! 

To God be the glory great things He has done!

What Could His Life Been Like?

On Tuesday night Dominic and I were sitting on the couch, worship music was playing in the background as the kids ran around being silly. Levi absolutely loves it when all of us are hanging out - its his time to turn on the charm and ham it up! He was dancing, and twirling, and laughing. As we watched him enjoy the love and attention of his family, Dominic said to me, "Do you ever think about what his life could have been like?" 
  
I do. Alot. Actually, the more his personality emerges, the more kisses and cuddles I get from him, the more I hear him "singing" Jesus Loves Me as I snuggle him before bed, the more my mind wanders to the "what ifs". But even more than that, I am stirred to pray for his birth mom. It saddens me to think she is missing out on knowing this wonderful little boy she carried in her womb. She is so lost and in bondage. I pray that the Lord would reach her and speak His love and plan of salvation to her. I never met her - never even saw her - but I pray for her. While we were waiting to be certified the Chris Tomlin song "Our God" became my prayer for our little one - and the Lord answered my heart's prayer in every way! 

"Into the darkness You shine,

Out of the ashes we rise,  

There's no one Like You, none like You....

Our God is healer, awesome in power, our God."  

I pray the same prayer for her. "Lord, shine Your light into the darkness. Nothing is too hard for you." 

What could his life have been like? I don't know. What I do know, is he is here and he is loved. He is the apple of his daddy's eye. Truly, Dominic is smitten. I love to watch the two of them together. Dominic tells me countless times a day how cute Levi is, how special he is, how much he loves him. I have heard him defend him against thoughtless racial jokes with passion and intensity. Levi is the first to get hugs and kisses when Dominic gets  home from work! He is waiting for the day they can do "guy stuff" together. All of these things are answers to the quiet cry of my heart - that Dominic would fall in love with the child the Lord brought to our family. It has been my joy to watch as the men in the house bond! 

We both look forward to teaching Levi about Jesus and raising him to be a godly man. Levi is a gift, he is a blessing to our family, and his life is a reminder of the redemptive love of our great God who loves the little children and answers prayers!


To God be the glory, great things He has done!